by Peter Germany
I really love writing. When I slip into the flow the words leave my brain unhindered and make a world full of characters and chaos. At those times it’s a high that is like few I’ve experienced in life, but I’ve found it doesn’t last. When I’m rolling nothing takes me out of the story, but when I’m struggling I’ll get derailed by having to come up with a minor character’s name or discovering a black hole sized plot hole, or writing myself in circles, and I’ll end up feeling like I’m smashing my head against a brick wall!
I get disheartened too easily, and give up when disheartened even easier. Over the last couple of year’s I’ve got better at not getting so blown out of the water when I get stuck. I’ve learned that if I have multiple stories on the go I can switch between them when I encounter a problem. Going off to a different story for a little while can open up the solution for the crashing halt on the other project. This has served me well over the last few months, but ideally I want to get to a position where I am writing on just one thing until it is done. That said though, maybe this is just what works for me.
I promised to write Cinta a piece for this blog a while ago, at a time where I had a couple of anthologies I wanted to submit to. I also had two other commitments to other website I had to get done, but I started writing this near the end of April but only got about this far with it before putting it down to get these other commitments completed. It was about this sort of time that I was just getting started on a story for a themed anthology and it just came together. I knew what I wanted the protagonist to be like, his personality, his past, his outlook on the world. I knew the layout of his home, I knew where his home was. I knew the type of people who were around him. I knew in-depth who this man was and the story all but wrote itself. My Beta readers said it was the best story of mine they had read, and they’ve read a lot of my stuff. I felt like I levelled up with that story, but I realised just how hard I had been struggling to write. About this time last year I had the high of getting my first story accepted (the thought still makes me smile like a kid at Christmas), but in my personal life I had a demanding time of it for the second half of the year. I’m not going into details as to why, just know it wasn’t an easy time. Life got especially testing in November, which derailed NaNoWriMo for me. But I did write what would become my second published story in two days in that period and got it sent off and accepted and published. That was an interesting experience. The anthology the story is in is basically inspired by the 12 Days of Christmas and I wrote a 3 French Hens story for it. I have been keeping hens since about 2011 so I’ve got a little experience with them and it pretty much wrote itself.
I was invited into an anthology which I wrote a story for late last year. That story was tough to write and I had some doubts about it but the editors had very good words to say when they accepted it.
I had been struggling since last summer though. Aside from the stories I’ve mentioned I can’t really tell you what I’d written until about March or April time this year, but then I wrote this one story where it all clicked into place and I realised just how much I had been struggling. It was like the fog had cleared and I could see how hard writing had become for me. I began writing some scenes which I was ecstatic with and I did so with so much ease, I struggled to remember having written as effortlessly in the past.
I was on a roll for a few weeks where writing was easy. I wasn’t second guessing myself, I didn’t care what readers might think, I didn’t care what my loved ones would think, I just wrote. It didn’t last though. Soon I was struggling with what I was writing. It began to feel like I was trying to pull teeth with toy pliers again. That’s kind of where I am at the moment, but I wrote a few scenes in this past week where I felt that writing mojo return. I’ve kept going when writing is feeling hard, but I’m getting days where I’ll only write two or three hundred words. I do work full time, have an addiction to TV and movies, so I can always find an excuse not to write, but I have been writing.
When I’ve been disheartened in the past I’ve just stopped dead and haven’t written for days. Now I’m bleeding out words each day, and every word added is another word closer to wrapping up the story.
Writing is a real up and down exercise for me. The highs are amazing and the lows suck, but I’m learning to keep going through the lows and not give up.
About the Author
Peter Germany is a writer of Science Fiction and Horror from Gravesend in Kent, England.
He is influenced by writers like Dan Abnett, Scott Sigler, CL Raven and Joe Haldeman.
When not pretending to be normal at a day job, he is writing or dealing with a supreme being (a cat), an energetic puppy, and trying to wrangle a small flock of chickens. He also spends an unhealthy amount of time watching good and bad TV and movies.
He has had stories published the anthologies Sparks:An Electric Anthology and 12 Days of Christmas 2017.
You can find him at his blog: petergermany.com